Integral Circling as I understand it — The Actual Practice
5 min read
The practice of integral circling is one of holding many intentions at the same time, which, without practice, is actually pretty hard. What is actually brilliant about it is a whole other thing worth talking about, but I could write on that for ages, so heres the exact way the practice tends to go.
This practice arises from within the commitment to these principles, all held together at the same time. That holding is the practice. If you deviate from any of them at any time, you're deviating from the practice — you're doing something else.
The practice usually starts with a facilitator just reminding what the group is doing, and setting an intent around time. They cover this rough container ( set of intentions held explicitly by the group or couple engaged )
Something like, "ok so for the next 10m were going to practice circling. To do that, each of you will practice.."
Noticing what you're noticing.
> Example: "I'm noticing some excitement right now as I'm being here with you."
Welcoming everything, Assuming Nothing
Honoring yourself, others and the space between
Noticing what arises as we are being with each other
Revealing what arises in being with each other, what you are noticing, or the impact on your immediate experience of hearing, seeing, being with the others here as they share.
> Example: "I'm noticing feeling less connected right now."
Seeing if we can sense into, feel into, and effectively get what its like for others to be in their nervous systems, effectively see if we can "get eachothers worlds"
We call this getting shared reality, as we might share what we imagine is true for the other, and then ask if that lands for them and its right.
We never just project, we are effectively repurposing the natural flow of projection, the imagining whats true for the others experience, into a means for actually getting shared reality, so we are always asking if its right, as the intent is to get their world, not to assert our assumptions about them, to them.
Examples:
> "I'm noticing feeling less connected right now, and I'm imagining that something I said didn't resonate with you. I wonder if that feels true for you?"
> Example: "I'm imagining you might be frustrated. Im curious if I am getting it at all?"
> Example: "I'm noticing a story that you don't like what I just said. I am wondering if that lands for you at all.
We tend to lean away from direct questions, and more towards sharing what we are curious about,
Remember, the intent is to get shared reality, so any projections shared are framed as curiosities and the person being imagined about is always allowed to respond
EG... Not really, Its more like Yea, that feels right Exactly. Yea... I did not notice that before but yea, thats it.
The intent of sharing what you imagine to be so about the other is to get their world, so you're always checking if your projection lands.
The practice is a holding of all of these things together. In practice, that means you can't effectively "do it wrong" because everyone is practicing welcoming everything. So theres no rejection of what someone shares who is new to it, its welcomed, and the container does not "break" or become invalid, the practice does not stop if someone speaks in a way thats not consistent with the intent of the container, often a facilitator or the next speaker will simply resume the practice.
EG break to repair pattern
> Yea, this is a total waste, nobodys going to get me. ( strays from intent to assume nothing, welcome everything )
Response
> Wow, when you shared that I got washed with some concern and became really alert, Im wondering what thats like for you to say right now.
( notice how the response is from within the practice, is not rejecting, and effectively invites the person back into the practice by modeling it, not shaming, making wrong, or correcting them )
The common general intent of this practice as a whole is to get the world of the other, to experience it as if getting what its like to be in their nervous system, which seems to result in the experience of feeling seen, known, held, met, understood, connected to self, to others, to the space between and often connected in a diffuse, connected to everything sort of experience.
While its not explicitly out of the container to focus only on ones stories of others, getting practice with this tends to move folks towards leaning on their own direct experience more fully, towards noticing the sensations, impulses, wants, desires, curiosities, inclinations, emotions of ones own experience of being with another person, being with them selves, being with what is arising. Whereas a focus on ones own stories about others exclusively seems to result in less of an experience of being seen, known, and getting to shared reality, as a generalized pattern.