Settling on purpose

Make a real, binding choice instead of keeping every option open forever.

Why it works

Endless optionality feels like freedom but prevents the depth that only comes from commitment — in work, relationships, and place. Burkeman’s point is that "settling" is not defeat; it is the act that lets something grow. Closing options on purpose converts shallow optionality into the durable investment that actually pays off.

How to do it

1. Identify an area where you keep hedging to stay open (career, city, relationship).
2. Make one binding choice and commit to it for a defined, meaningful period.
3. Invest in depth there rather than scanning for something theoretically better.

Evidence

Connects to research suggesting irreversible decisions can lead to greater satisfaction than reversible ones, and to the maximizing-versus-satisficing literature. Offered as a stance grounded in those findings. The satisficing research adds a sharper point: maximizers who keep scanning for something better report lower satisfaction and more regret than those who commit to a "good enough" choice — evidence that closing the option, not endlessly keeping it open, is what makes a choice pay off. (observational)

Correlational and context-bound; "settling" applies to over-hedged choices, not to leaving genuinely harmful situations.

Sources

• Gilbert & Ebert (2002), irreversible decisions and satisfaction
• Schwartz et al. (2002), maximizing versus satisficing
• Gilbert, D. T., & Ebert, J. E. J. (2002). Decisions and revisions: The affective forecasting of changeable outcomes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(4), 503-514.
• Schwartz, B., Ward, A., Monterosso, J., Lyubomirsky, S., White, K., & Lehman, D. R. (2002). Maximizing versus satisficing: Happiness is a matter of choice. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(5), 1178-1197.
• Shin, J., & Ariely, D. (2004). Keeping doors open: The effect of unavailability on incentives to keep options viable. Management Science, 50(5), 575-586.

Common mistake

Mistaking commitment for a trap and bailing the moment something feels hard, which keeps you perpetually shallow and dissatisfied.