Deliberately engage loss-oriented work

Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.

Why it works

Loss-oriented processing engages the emotional-processing system directly, allowing grief to be metabolised rather than stored. Without it, grief can become frozen or intrusive. The deliberateness distinguishes this from uncontrolled rumination: the person enters loss-orientation by choice and within a bounded frame, which preserves agency while enabling deep processing.

How to do it

1. Schedule a defined loss-orientation session of 20–30 minutes on specific days.
2. During the session: look at photographs, write to or about the person, allow whatever feelings arise.
3. Do not use the time to manage practical tasks related to the death — this time is for emotional processing, not logistics.
4. Close the session deliberately: a brief ritual (a sentence, a candle) that marks the transition out.

Evidence

The loss-orientation component of the DPM is supported by bereavement research linking emotional processing to adjustment; the DPM as a framework is cited across the bereavement literature and has generated observational research on grieving styles. Bonanno & Kaltman (1999) situate this within an integrative account of bereavement in which active engagement with the loss is one of several processes shaping adjustment. (observational)

The DPM is primarily a theoretical and observational framework; RCT evidence for DPM-structured interventions specifically is limited, though it underpins several evaluated grief therapies.

Sources

• Stroebe & Schut (1999), The dual process model of coping with bereavement, Death Studies
• Stroebe, M. S., & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Studies, 23(3), 197–224.
• Bonanno, G. A., & Kaltman, S. (1999). Toward an integrative perspective on bereavement. Psychological Bulletin, 125(6), 760–776.

Common mistake

Confusing loss-orientation with rumination — loss-orientation is deliberate, bounded, and involves emotional engagement with the loss, not analytical loops about why it happened.