Ask open-ended questions

Replace yes/no questions with ones that invite the speaker to open up.

Why it works

Closed questions narrow the conversation to the answer you already had in mind; open questions hand the speaker room to go where the meaning actually is. They also keep the speaker as the protagonist and signal you want their experience, not a confirmation of your assumption.

How to do it

1. Start questions with "what" or "how" rather than "did" or "is".
2. Ask about meaning and experience: "What was that like for you?" rather than "Was it bad?"
3. Ask one question, then stop — don’t stack three or answer it yourself.

Evidence

Open-ended questions are a core micro-skill in counseling and interviewing training, including motivational interviewing, used specifically to elicit deeper disclosure than closed questions. A clinical trial showed that a single open-ended prompt ("Is there anything else?") measurably reduced patients’ unmet concerns, evidence that question form alone changes what a person discloses. (clinical)

An established practice skill rather than a tactic with a large standalone outcome literature; too many questions in a row turns listening into interrogation.

Sources

• Takemura, Y., Sakurai, Y., Yokoya, S., Otaki, J., Matsuoka, T., Ban, N., Hirata, I., Miki, T., & Tsuda, T. (2005). Open-ended questions: Are they really beneficial for gathering medical information from patients? Tohoku Journal of Experimental Medicine, 206(2), 151-154.
• Heritage, J., Robinson, J. D., Elliott, M. N., Beckett, M., & Wilkes, M. (2007). Reducing patients' unmet concerns in primary care: the difference one word can make. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 22(10), 1429-1433.

Common mistake

Disguising advice as a question ("Have you thought about just leaving?"), which is a suggestion wearing a question mark and the speaker hears it as such.