Coaching practices for How to Overcome Codependency Worksheets

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When I try to untangle one of these convictions in my head it just spins
  • We have the same fight over and over with different words on top, and in the moment it always feels like it’s their fault
  • I keep noticing the same move
  • We keep agreeing to stop the pushing and the shutting-down, and for a few days it holds, but then something sets it off and we’re right back in it
  • We have the exact same fight on a loop

Practices that may help

  1. Use a challenging beliefs worksheet to work a stuck point completely
    The CPT challenging beliefs worksheet is a structured, written process for examining one stuck point at a time.
    Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): Unsticking the Meanings That Maintain PTSD
  2. Recognize your demon dialogue -- the negative cycle running your relationship
    Every stuck couple has a predictable negative loop; naming it together is the first step out.
    Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
  3. Identifying and challenging dysfunctional coping modes
    Spot when you’re in surrender, avoidance, or overcompensation mode — and the schema need underneath it.
    Schema Therapy: Healing Early Maladaptive Beliefs
  4. Excavating the underlying needs on both sides
    Find what the demand and the withdrawal are each protecting — and address those needs directly.
    The Demand-Withdraw Pattern: Breaking the Pursue-Retreat Cycle
  5. Identify and name your negative cycle
    Every stuck couple has a predictable escalation pattern -- naming it lets you step outside it.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  6. Name the cycle as the shared enemy
    Give the pattern a name and treat it as the problem — not your partner.
    The Pursuer-Withdrawer Cycle, Explained
  7. Naming the cycle out loud together
    Learn to narrate the demand-withdraw cycle while it is happening rather than after.
    The Demand-Withdraw Pattern: Breaking the Pursue-Retreat Cycle
  8. Identifying and challenging interpersonal myths
    Surface and test the beliefs that prevent you from asking for what you need or saying no.
    DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
  9. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) for OCD-like patterns
    Trigger obsessional distress, then refrain from the compulsive or avoidant response.
    Exposure Therapy: Facing Fears to Shrink Them
  10. Shift from one-person to two-person psychology
    Stop managing your distress alone and start managing it together.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships

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